HUMOR

WIT AND WISDOM

October 1 1948
HUMOR

WIT AND WISDOM

October 1 1948

WIT AND WISDOM

HUMOR

Short Short—Father: I’m busy. Be short.

Son: I will. I am.Nanaimo Free Press.

Planting the Idea “Look at Smith over there in the corner

buried in thought.”

“Mighty shallow grave, isn’t it?”

Niagara Falls Review.

Mete Reply—Customer: The

new butcher across the street is giving you tough competition.

Butcher: That’s all right. The

time for me to worry is when he starts giving me tender competition.emdash;2?dmonton Bulletin.

The Better Half Policeman (after a collision): You saw this lady driving toward you. Why didn’t you give her half the road?

Motorist: I couldn’t tell which half she wanted. Nanaimo Free Press.

Don’t Get Mademdash;A man went to a mental specialist.

“What seems to be the trouble?”

I asked the doctor.

The patient responded by vigorously brushing imaginary things off his arm, explaining, “See? I have dragons on my sleeve.”

The specialist, backing away, screamed: “Well, you don’t have to brush them off onto me!” Saint rJohn Telegraph-Journal.

Giveawayemdash;“Unless you pay up soon,” wrote the blackmailer, “the gang will be instructed to kidnap your wife.”

“I have no money,” came a reply, “but I am interested in your proposition.” - K itchener Record.

Sharp Profileemdash;The late John Barrymore was out walking one Easter Sunday, when he saw a certain notorious snob approaching. He tried to avoid the man, but the other singled him out with the hearty greeting, “Good afternoon, Barrymore. You are positively the only person I’ve met today worth stopping to speak to.”

“Really?” rejoined Barrymore. “Then you’re more fortunate than I am.”emdash;Niagara Falls Review.

SNAP SHOCK

Your product, sidewalk cameraman.

After these irksome days of waiting,

Might please a Boris Karloff fanemdash;

To me it's frankly desolating.

Where did gt;ou find this monster that

Is masquerading in my hat?

emdash;P. J. Blackwell.