Parade

Parade

Things that go bump in the night

March 29 1958
Parade

Parade

Things that go bump in the night

March 29 1958

Parade

Things that go bump in the night

A farmer near Edgerton, Alta., found a good hired man just as spring arrived, hut the new man and his wife almost moved out after one night in the house assigned them. Wakened by a terrible crash in the kitchen they discovered the cistern pump shaking in its mounting. As they watched there was a great groaning and grinding and pump and pipe shot up to the ceiling. When the poor fellow tried to haul it down, some mighty force shot it back up again. His wife was sure the place was haunted, until he and the farmer went down cellar by daylight to investigate.

It seems the house had been vacant and unheated all winter and a foot of water left in the basement cistern had frozen solid. Before the new couple moved in, the cistern was filled with melting snow and the pump pipe installed. With heat on again in the house the ice block in the bottom of the cistern loosened, let go and floated upward—and the kitchen pump began its midnight capers.

* * *

An Ottawa woman was waiting for a

streetcar at Queen and Elgin when a strange man tapped her on the shoulder and asked, “Going down Rideau?” She thought it was a pickup but it turned out the stranger was really a good Samaritan. “1 just got off the Riverdale bus,” the fellow said. “Here’s my transfer.”

* * *

What season was it this winter, where

you live? This advertisement appeared in The Pass Herald, at Blairmore, Alta.: “Wanted: Snow for the Blairmore Winter Carnival. Apply to: The Blairmore Winter Carnival Committee before January

31st.” And about the same time a Canadian couple vacationing in Miami, along with several thousand other shivering northerners, saw a suit of long winter underwear displayed in a store window beside a card reading, “For Rent.”

* * *

We don’t know anybody anywhere who has been awaiting spring more impatiently than a housewife in Hatzic, in B.C.’s Fraser Valley. The story began last summer when she was watering her plants and spied a small frog in a pot of ivy in her living room. She dumped the frog

out on the lawn, but next day it was back. Twice more she tried to banish

it before she discovered it went in and

out every night anyway, squeezing under the door. Last fall the friendly frog vanished. The housewife has missed it, hopes it has only been hibernating for

the winter, and that spring will bring it back.

* * *

At a recent parent-teacher meeting in Victoria a dentist gave a talk about the effects of sweet food on the teeth, which

favorably impressed everybody but the refreshment committee. During the social hour the sandwiches and coffee disappeared but the cake went untouched.

* * *

A Parade scout, who recently shared a Portage Avenue bus with a number of people including a policeman, is delighted to report that the Winnipeg constabulary is ever watchfully on guard even while riding home to dinner. When the bus driver had difficulty pulling into a corner stop because of an illegally parked car the cop got off and hung a ticket on it, then resumed his journey.

* * *

Way back during wartime three soldiers from Kirkland Lake, Ont., went horseback riding while home on leave. When they encountered three girls out walking, the three musketeers pulled up and gaily suggested that the girl who was carrying a camera take their picture. She did and that's all there was to it—honest; the soldiers just rode off into the sunset and never saw any of the girls again— until the other night. One of the ex-soldiers was going over a snapshot album with his wife, whom he met and married after his return from the wars, and suddenly spotted three men on three horses. “Who's that?” he demanded, frowning. “Oh, just three jerks 1 took a picture of during the war,” explained his wife airily—till she suddenly took a good look at the snapshot and another unbelieving look at the jerk beside her.

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