Parade

Parade

Dearth of a salesman or two

May 10 1958
Parade

Parade

Dearth of a salesman or two

May 10 1958

Parade

Dearth of a salesman or two

How are things on the current Canadian scene? Well, a fellow in Montreal got mad at his car and kicked the bumper; the bumper bust a bolt and snapped back, sending him to hospital with a possible skull fracture. The superintendent of an apartment house in London, Ont., heard the communal washer and dryer going at two a.m. and discovered that a thoughtful tenant was doing his laundry then so as not to disturb other tenants during the early-evening rush hours. Only it turned out this fellow lived in another apartment house down the street that didn’t have a washer. And the unemployment situation brightened in Vancouver when a want-ad announced: “Salesmen wanted to work five days a week to replace ones who didn't . . .” That’s about how things are.

* * *

A fellow in Vernon, B.C., who saw a car pull up to the curb with smoke seeping out from under the hood, gallantly responded to the woman driver’s plea for help. “Your rad must be boiling over,” he diagnosed confidently as he threw up the hood—then stared dumbfounded at how wrong he'd been. There wasn’t any rad, and his astonishment was only heightened by the nonchalance of the woman driver who said she’d motored five miles from Okanagan Landing and didn't seem the least bit astonished herself. “My husband sells radiators,” she explained, “and I guess he needed one like this in a hurry. The engine does look a long way back, doesn’t it.”

* * *

A Parade Scout who attended a monster bingo game in Winnipeg recently reports that when the woman next to

her got up to buy herself a drink there was a genuine horseshoe (nails removed) on the bench where she’d been sitting.

* * *

Those Victoria bus drivers are becoming as colorful as New York’s taxi drivers. Back when the rest of us were still fighting snowdrifts but spring was bursting out all over the B. C. capital, this one stopped his bus in the middle of a block, got out and hurried across the grassy boulevard to peer into someone’s

front garden. He returned to the job beaming and announced to his passengers. "A rhododendron in full bloom! It couldn't happen anywhere else in Canada!”

* * *

Although the two-lane Trans-Canada Highway near Langley, B. C., was jammed bumper to bumper in both directions by week-end traffic, an impatient little eastbound sports car darted out into the first gap that offered in an attempt

to pass. After scores of westbound motorists had jammed on their brakes to avoid a record smashup, four husky loggers climbed out of the first westbound car, gathered round the sports car and glared down at its hapless driver. Then, one at each corner, they lifted it right off the road and deposited it gently on the other side of the ditch.

* * *

One morning after new parking meters had been installed in Courtenay, B.C., a local merchant was seen to sweep the sidewalk in front of his shop as usual, then carefully dust and polish the new meter before opening for business.

* * *

Innocence-is-bliss on Fort St. in Victoria: Man happily loading things into the trunk of his car, too busy to notice that a cop was happily hanging a parking ticket on the front end of the car.

* * *

A Prince Rupert, B.C., citizen recently bought a secondhand car and had scarcely parked it in an empty space on main street when it was stolen. He promptly reported the matter to police and they got the car back in no time from one of the town’s most respected lawyers, who confessed all. It had been his car for years; he had just turned it in on a new one, and when he found it parked in front of his office he climbed in without thinking and drove it home.

l’ARADK PAYS $5 TO $10 for true, humorous anecdotes reflecting the current Canadian scene. No contributions can be returned.

Address Parade, c/o Maclean’s Magazine, 481 University Avenue, Toronto 2, Ontario.