Parade

Parade

The billy-goat blues

June 7 1958
Parade

Parade

The billy-goat blues

June 7 1958

Parade

The billy-goat blues

A visitor to Bancroft, an Ontario uranium town, had a hard time concentrating during a business call at one local home. He couldn't get over the impression that he had observed two blue goats in the yard. They couldn't be blue, of course; nor could it be radioactivity or any nonsense like that, and yet ... As his host showed him to the door there stood the goats, blue as blue, and the visitor could only blurt out his concern.

"Oh, so they're blue now," exclaimed the Bancroft man. "Yesterday they were pink." And it wasn’t just a shaggy goat story; it seems his two young daughters had been mixing batches of vegetable rlyes and trying them on their pets.

* * *

The Edmonton bus stop was crowded

with impatient women shoppers when a businessman pulled up beside them in his car and threw open the door. Five of them instantly piled in, thanking him profusely for the rush-hour rescue, when the good Samaritan silenced them with "Would one of you women mind getting out so’s my wife can get in?”

* * *

A girl, whose name and wicket number

we will reveal only for a price, sells daily-double tickets at a Vancouver race track. When a fellow appeared before her just before post time, beaming silently and proffering a two-doUar bill, she quickly ascertained that he couldn't speak English so handed him a number at -andom to keep the line-up moving. When the horse won back he came to exchange his ticket, still silent but more beaming than ever, so she chose another one for him. When this horse won, too, the man collected $17.50. Then to prove he

knew a good thing when he saw it, he went back to the seller’s wicket. In newly learned words he demanded delightedly, "You married?”

* * *

An ever-loving husband in Rosetown, Sask.. finished his breakfast the other morning and was just about to reach for his hat and kiss his wife goodby when she whisked off upstairs. To the sounds of scurrying about overhead she called down. “I just couldn't bear to have you remember me all day in that old bath-

robe!" Then down she dashed, flung herself into his arms, gave him a big kiss and sent him happily off to work—thinking fondly of her in baggy sweatshirt, rumpled denims and beat-up sneakers.

* * *

The door-to-door salesmen drove a Hamilton, Ont., housewife to distraction recently when three rang her bell in one

THAT'S nothin’/ ALMOST dor BITTEN BY

hour. That day, besides all her other chores, she had her little girl home from school with the flu. As the mother's temperature threatened to top her own, her daughter suggested, "Why don’t you put a sign on the door. ‘Beware of cross housewife’?” Mother decided to try it and reports that it works like a charm.

* * *

A long, lanky soldier from Currie Barracks at Calgary had finally taken enough kidding about the tiny foreign car he drives his six-foot-three around in. He

fashioned a large metal handle and

mounted this on the back of his midget so that the next time somebody asks him jeeringly, "What do you wind it up

with?” he can say “A key, of course,” and show it to them.

But he has a fellow sufferer in Toronto who believes the only defense is offense, and has lettered across the rear window of his Volkswagen, "Help stamp out Cadillacs.”

* * *

An Englishman now living in Port Arthur, Ont., who makes a point of not letting himself be homesick, was nevertheless cheered as well as surprised to come upon a group of teen-age boys playing an improvised cricket game. Three empty tins substituted for wickets, and baseball bats for cricket bats. Their accents betrayed that they came by their love of the game naturally. The Briton’s sentimental mood was shattered, however, when one batsman hit the ball, both batsmen started their runs and one of their supporters shouted "Go, man. go!”

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