Parade

Parade

And sometimes a chaser

September 27 1958
Parade

Parade

And sometimes a chaser

September 27 1958

Parade

And sometimes a chaser

There’s an ingenious youngster in Saskatoon who, whenever he's far from home and thirsty, stops by the nearest soda fountain and asks please can he have a glass of water. Then he pulls a pack of powdered lemonade from his pocket and mixes his own pop.

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You don’t often sec a pair of crocheted pillow slips any more, complete with the traditional hand-worked motto —and you almost never see a pair sporting a typographical error, as well. A pair did turn up at a Winnipeg church bazaar, though. The lovingly lettered inscription read: "Sleep well fried.”

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From St. John’s, Newfoundland, comes a report of coasting skipper in Bonavista Bay who hankered so for a dish of fresh cod he hauled his vessel inshore by the floating marker of a cod trap and helped himself liberally. He was more than grateful and next day when a local fisherman hauled in his cod trap he found a tightly corked bottle lashed to it. Inside the bottle was a two-dollar bill and a note: " I hey couldn’t be any fresher!”

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Before summer’s end the district manager of a branch plant in Windsor made himself a fine hero with his all-female office staff by announcing that they’d all have to work Saturday, and no overtime. We doubt he’ll ever try it again. He arrived Saturday morning to find all

26 women on the job, clad in a gay, gay variety of pedal pushers, Bermuda shorts, sunsuits, playsuits, toreador pants and one outfit that looked suspiciously like a bathing suit.

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Seen on a Toronto street: one of those big white street-cleaning trucks pulls up for a stoplight, big letters across the back urging "Help keep Toronto clean.” An arm reaches out of the cab and tosses away an empty cigarette package.

What we call a loaf of bread is known in Scotland as a half loaf and when recent arrival from the Highlands asked in a Brandon, Man., bakery for “two halves” it didn’t baffle the clerk a moment. The customer was speechless.

though, to see her pick a loaf off the shelf, slice it across the middle and pop it in a bag for him.

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It was nice of British Columbia to present Princess Margaret with an island all her own, but we wonder how long posterity will recall the island's association. The other day a man in North Battleford, Sask., made some casual reference to the E.P. Ranch and his teen-age niece exclaimed, all interest, "I didn’t know Elvis Presley owned a ranch up here!”

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An ill wind had a change of heart, one recent washday in Cobourg, Ont. After lifting a sheet off a clothesline in one College St. backyard it deposited it carefully on a neighbor's line half a block away.

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When a traveling circus had to make a non-parade trek along a Montreal thoroughfare, a motorist found himself stuck behind a slow plodding elephant. Impatiently edging forward he accidentally nudged the elephant’s rear leg. at which the beast promptly sat down on the hood of his car with a horrid crumpling sound. The motorist’s wails drew only an impassive shrug from the elephant keeper. He said that the animal had been trained for years that a light touch on the back of his leg was his cue to back up and sit down on an overturned tub. Expect an elephant to forget?

PARADE P.WS S5 lO $10 for true, humorous anecdotes reflecting the current Canadian scene. No contributions can be returned.

Address Parade, c/o Maclean’s Magazine, 481 University Avenue, Toronto 2, Ontario.