Parade

So much for the Samaritan

May 23 1959

Parade

So much for the Samaritan

May 23 1959

Parade

So much for the Samaritan

A schoolteacher in Wolfville, N.S., finished telling her five-year-olds the story of the Good Samaritan and then asked one little miss what she would do if she saw a man lying on the side of the road. “I would call my daddy to come and bury him," was the matter-of-fact reply, leaving teacher biting her lip for asking the daughter of the local undertaker.

Any business catering to the public has to keep changing to keep up with the times, these days. Why, three weeks after the new wing of Toronto's Royal York Hotel had its grand opening, basement washrooms were barred by signs announcing: "Closed for alterations.”

A Winnipeg father reports with philosophic bemusement that at breakfast the other Saturday morning he was an eyewitness to his teen-age daughter hauling a carton of ice cream from the refrigerator. "I have to start with something basic," she declared.

The proud operator of one of those amazing electronic calculators, used by a paper mill in Corner Brook. Nfld.. to run off the payroll, was horrified to catch it in a terrible mistake. Clutching a cheque the machine had written for four hundred dollars for sixty hours’ work, he gave a small cry of anguish, turned the darn thfng off and held up the payroll while a full-scale investigation was instigated. He was a mighty shamefaced fellow later when he realized the truth. The employee was actually entitled to hack payment for one hundred and sixty hours’ work, hut such a possibility had never occurred to the mere men who de-

signed the machine and they hadn't built it to print more than two digits in the hours column. Without a word of protest the machine had gone right ahead, done its arithmetic and paid the employee what was coming to him.

* * *

Proudest three-year-old in Toronto recently was a little fellow who ran into the house shouting. "Hey, Mummy—I can whistle!" He was mighty discouraged, though, when Mummy whipped him off to the doctor to have a piece of bark removed from one nostril.

Nobody succumbs to the lure of far, strange places like stamp collectors, and nobody knows it better than the National Capital Stamp Shop in Ottawa, which ran this ad in an American collectors' paper: “Absolutely unpicked Canadian mixture containing pictorials, commémoratives. Shipped exactly as received from the dense natives of Canada's interior . . . ” * * *

Some of these modern household appliances are a great convenience but when they don't work—wow! A Halifax

family had to buy space to advertise in the Mail-Star, “Lost—top of pressure cooker. Finder please return . .

* * *

Driving over Burrard Bridge a Vancouver motorist thought he saw a cat on a car roof. Driving closer he saw there «Y/.Y a cat on the car roof, clinging for dear life to the shiny metal. At the first stop he pulled up and shouted. “You have a cat on the roof of your car!" To which the other driver replied nonchalantly, “Oh. is he there again?” And reaching up with one hand he grabbed the cat by the scruff of the neck and tossed it into the back seat.

A keen young teacher in Moose Jaw, Sask., delighted his grade-eight class by producing a pair of guinea pigs and announcing a science project to discover the effects of diet. That very day they started one guinea pig on a carefully balanced diet — proteins, carbohydrates, vitamins and all sorts of other crunchy goodies in careful balance — while the other got candy, soda pop. breakfast cereal and cake. Six weeks later the cake-and-pop-fattened guinea pig was on a strict diet of greens to restore his figure. a sorry lesson to all the pupils— if only the well-balanced diet hadn't done in the other guinea pig completely.

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