March 20, 2006

DESPERATE ACCOUNTANTS 3233
BUSINESS

DESPERATE ACCOUNTANTS

"The United States District Court for the Southern District of Texas is now in session. Judge Sim Lake presiding. God bless these United States and this honourable court. ” Week six, day two of the Enron trial began with the kind of revelation that, in any other case, would have been explosive.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. PLAYBOY 4445
THE BACK PAGES

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. PLAYBOY

Hugh Hefner, founder of Playboy magazine, will celebrate his 8Oth birthday next month. He will celebrate it the way he celebrates all his milestones: hanging out at his famous Playboy Mansion with various famous friends and at least three blond, silicone-enhanced young women.
‘PREPARE TO BURY YOUR DEAD' 1617
NATIONAL

‘PREPARE TO BURY YOUR DEAD'

How do you defeat an enemy that can disappear into the dust and debris of a hostile environment? How do you defeat an enemy that has never been defeated? This is the dilemma facing Canadian troops after one of the worst weeks for Canada’s military in recent memory: two soldiers dead, and another dozen injured, in Afghanistan’s mercurial Kandahar province, the heartland of the Taliban.
CANADA IN COMBAT 2021
NATIONAL

CANADA IN COMBAT

It’s not as if the news out of Afghanistan has ever been reassuring. From the deaths of four Canadian soldiers by friendly fire in April 2002, to the suicide attacker who took the life of Cpl. Jamie Murphy, 26, of Conception Harbour, Nfld., in January 2004, to the axe assault early this month that wounded Capt.
'When I said at the Emmys, "I want to thank all the people who have come into my life and made me miserable"—yes, that was you' 1415
INTERVIEW

'When I said at the Emmys, "I want to thank all the people who have come into my life and made me miserable"—yes, that was you'

David Shore is the writer, producer and creative force behind the hit television phenomenon House. Starring Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House, a drug-addicted, medical diagnostic genius who holds his patients— and humanity in general—in contempt, the program is currently the eighth most popular show on television.
A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF...SCOTT BRISON 1213
7 DAYS

A WEEK IN THE LIFE OF...SCOTT BRISON

Every day should bring a little happiness. Last week, Brison confessed to having sent a CIBC banker an email last autumn telling him, “you will be happier very soon,” just one day before the Liberal government had announced it wouldn’t tax income trusts.
MAIL BAG 45
MAIL BAG

MAIL BAG

Thank you for your cover on Cindy Klassen (“Cindy Klassen: Our greatest Olympian,” March 6). She is a wonderful soul, a dear friend, and now Canada’s sweetheart! I was lucky enough to train with Cindy in Winnipeg when she started, both of us coming from different sport disciplines.
We shall fight them at the water cooler 4849
THE BACK PAGES

We shall fight them at the water cooler

I was in the bookstore the other day and in the big display at the front they had something called The 33 Strategies of War by Robert Greene. Sounded just my bag. There’s a lot of war about at the moment—Afghanistan, Iraq, Sudan, Iran any day now, North Korea a couple of months down the road—and an armchair warrior can always use a new strategy hither and yon.
ROUNDUP TINE FOR RATKO? 3031
WORLD

ROUNDUP TINE FOR RATKO?

Shoot to kill. That was the order—directed at himself—that the fugitive Bosnian Serb general Ratko Mladic reportedly gave to his coterie of bodyguards when it looked like security forces were closing in on him five years ago. Mladic, 64, a tough-minded military man and one of the architects of the largest massacre in Europe since the Second World War, would apparently rather die by the hand of a supporter than face war crimes charges, including genocide and crimes against humanity, in The Hague.
EVERYBODY’S BABY 2627
NATIONAL

EVERYBODY’S BABY

Sheila Copps, who is rarely at a loss for words, is struggling with what she’ll say next week at a Liberal party shindig being thrown in her honour. Not that long ago, Copps was in the fight of her life, pitted against fellow Liberal Tony Valeri, not to mention Paul Martin and other party brass, in a fierce battle over the nomination for Hamilton East-Stoney Creek prior to the 2004 election.
March 132006 March 272006