MISCELLANEOUS

SMOKING-ROOM STORIES

The editor is prepared to purchase each month limited number of original anecdotes about prominent Canadians, for which prompt payment will be made.

March 1 1911
MISCELLANEOUS

SMOKING-ROOM STORIES

The editor is prepared to purchase each month limited number of original anecdotes about prominent Canadians, for which prompt payment will be made.

March 1 1911

SMOKING-ROOM STORIES

The editor is prepared to purchase each month limited number of original anecdotes about prominent Canadians, for which prompt payment will be made.

Sir X—, a noted politician, was touring a district in the interests of his candidate for a provincial election.

The warden of the county council was destined to entertain the noted guest during his stay in a certain village. To the warden’s family it was a wonderful event. Think of having a real Sir at the table!

“Now,” said one of the daughters of the house, “the much-disputed question will be settled: When you are away from home is it good form to fold vour table

napkin after a meal, or should you. leave it in a heap by your plate? We shall see !”

Sir X— came and was most genial towards all. Towards the close of dinner the host and guest became enthusiastic over assured election successes. In fact, so did the daughters, and forgot all about the disposition of the table napkin. When the men had retired for a smoke, a search was instituted. His napkin was under the table!

The following are true copies of letters received from grateful patients by a Canadian doctor while practising in India:

“Dear She,—My wife has returned from your hospital cured. Provided males are allowed at your bungalow, I would like to do you the honor of presenting myself there this afternoon, but I will not try to repay you — vengeance belongeth unto God.

“Yours noticeably.”

Then another:

“Dear and Fair Madame,—I have much pleasure to inform you that my dearly unfortunate wife will be no longer under your kind treatment, she having left this world for the other on the night of the 27th ulto. For your help in the matter I shall ever remain grateful.

“Yours reverently.”

* * *

A story at the expense of Col. Irvine, the warden of the Manitoba Penitentiary, is related by himself. Some time ago a, convict under his care came up to him with a “special request.” When asked the nature of it, he replied that he would like permission to follow his trade. “Certain-

ly,” said Col. Irvine, “as far as possible men are permitted to keep in touch with their vocations, whilst undergoing imprisonment.” “See that this man is put to. his profession,” he added, turning to his deputy, “and, by the way, No. —, what is your trade?”

“I’m a. balloonist,” was the answer.

* * *

The populace crowded around Cæsar clamoring for their mighty hero.

“Cæsar,” spoke up the appointed one, “wilt thou be our king?”

.“Nay, my faithful followers, I cannot,” answered the warrior.

“Hail, all hail to Cæsar,” bellowed a voice in the crowd. They all hailed. ,

“Let us beseech of you, Cæsar, take‘thè crown,” pressed the Speaker.

“My dear citizens and loyal compatriots, I cannot do this thing that you ask of me ; the time is not ripe.”

“Hail, all hail to Cæsar,” again spoke up the voice from the crowd. They all hailed as before.

“Now, our Cæsar,” said the speaker, “we have all hailed; it is up to you to reign.”