BUSINESS & INVESTMENTS

Maybe Adam Laughed at These

January 1 1931
BUSINESS & INVESTMENTS

Maybe Adam Laughed at These

January 1 1931

Maybe Adam Laughed at These

BUSINESS & INVESTMENTS

Hard Work—Village Postmistress: “I ought to ’ave some assistance ’ere durin’ the summer months. Sometimes I don’t get through readin’ the postcards before ten o’clock at night.—Vancouver Star.

Tarred and Feathered — “Doggone, here we are running over freshly tarred road again.”

“Be philosophical. Pray you don’t hit a flock of chickens.”—Montreal Herald.

Fast Thinkers—A feminine lecturer, speaking from a Chicago broadcasting station, said that bachelors have absolutely no excuse for living.

Husbands on the other hand have to have several every day!—Border Cities Star.

Telling Him—She: “When a man who bores me asks where I live I always say, ‘In the suburbs.’”

He: “Aha! That shuts him up, I suppose, but where do you live?”

She: “In the suburbs !” Stirling

News-Argus

Horrible—“Lady,” said Mike, “would you lend me a cake of soap?”

“Do you mean to tell me you want soap?”

“Yes’m. Me partner’s got de hiccups an’ I want to scare him.”—Stratford BeaconHerald.

A Poor Risk—Persistent Suitor: “If you’ll marry me I’ll take out a big insurance policy on my life, so that you’ll lie well provided for.

Bored Girl: “Yes, but suppose you don’t die?”—Fredericton Gleaner.

Celebrity—Kitty: “Did you see my photo in the paper yesterday?”

Kat:“No! What were you cured of?”— Dundas Star.

He Knew What He Meant—“I saw

the moving talkies yesterday.”

“You mean the talking movies.”

“No, I saw a bus filled with women.”— London Free Press.

Sure System—George: “Gambling’s too risky; you should give it up. One gains one day and loses the next.”

Georgina: “Well, then it’s easy. Play every other day.”—Ottawa Citizen.

Art Critics—First Charlady: “You know, dear; what do you call those drawings that are all scratches?”

Second Charlady: “You mean itchings, don’t you, dearie?”—Montreal Star.

Modern Maids—Maid: “Are you

going out in the car on Sunday, ma’am?”

Mistress: “No.”

Maid: “Then I’d like to ask for the loan of it; mine’s being repaired.”— Lindsay Post.

Depends—Father: “Hallo! Where’s Alfred gone to?”

Mother: “If the ice is as thick as he thinks it is he’s gone skating, but if it is as thin as I think it is he’s gone bathing.~ Sarnia Observer.

Scientific—“John,” said his wife, “I found some very queer looking tickets in your desk today. One said, ‘Saddle, eight to one.’ What does it mean?”

“My archaeological studies, my dear,” he answered. “Relics of a lost race.”— Vancouver Province.