Wit and Wisdom

In Fewer Words

January 1 1944
Wit and Wisdom

In Fewer Words

January 1 1944

In Fewer Words

Wit and Wisdom

Map-Happy—Comes now the tedious task of undoing all the geography that Adolf made up as he went along. —Sudbury Star.

Wee Wisdom—Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your own way.—Galt Reporter.

Griddle Aches?—The bridegroom and 15 guests took sick at a Montreal wedding. We understand, however, that the bride has an air-tight alibi. She didn’t start cooking until the next day.—Ottawa Citizen.

Modern Polichicks?—In a California city a chicken was hatched with both wings on the left side. No doubt an extreme example of a popular trend.—Sarnia Observer.

The Bat Boys!—On a cricket field at an English school, recently, play was stopped to watch a German plane being shot down. The younger generation, alas and alack, doesn’t take its cricket seriously.—North Bay Nugget.

Hubby Lobby—During a quiz held in the foyer of a hotel, one Miss was asked what she preferred in a husband— talent, appearance or wealth. Her answer was: “Appearance—and the

sooner the better.”—Calgary Herald.

Glamour Grills—Policewomen in some of the larger cities are being equipped with a combination pistol holder and vanity case. Which should knock ’em dead, one way or another. —Montreal Herald.

Fats and Figures—Statistics showing that women usually eat less than men aren’t always backed up by the figures.—Guelph Mercury.

Daffynition—A davenport is a device which permits children to wipe their feet while lying down.—Calgary Albertan.

Grain and Bear It—A new winter hat for the women is shaped like an hourglass. It will take a lot of sand to wear it.—London Free Press.

Bribed Groom ?—Money talks most and loudest after a man marries it. —Stratford Beacon-Herald.

Labor’s Coaled Shoulder—An exhaustive survey of the Pennsylvania field reveals enough anthracite alone to keep the country in strikes for the next 160 years.—Galt Reporter.

Frank Talk—It’s a Miss of nine who hurries home from the recital to report that they played Beethoven’s Moonlight Sinatra—Peterborough Examiner.

The Paws That Rethrashes—A

Calgary man is in the hospital after being terribly mauled by a seven-timeswounded bear. Hitler could tell the guy he was lucky to escape with his life. —Toronto Star.

Ally-O-oops!—Well, Adolf, next to having a doorknob come off in your hand, the emptiest feeling is to lean on an ally who isn’t there.—North Bay Nugget.

Pistol-Packin’ Mummy—In the

United States an Egyptian is reported to have shot himself at the age of 132. Evidently he found the second hundred years the hardest.—Windsor Star.