Wit and Wisdom

Laughing Matter

January 1 1944
Wit and Wisdom

Laughing Matter

January 1 1944

Laughing Matter

Wit and Wisdom

Turnabout—A commercial traveller, looking at the dingy shop, asked the shopkeeper: “How in the world do you make a go of things at all?”

The tradesman pointed to the other end of the shop and said: “You see

that fellow there? Well, he works for me and I can’t pay him; so in two years he gets the shop. Then I work for him until I get it back.”—North Bay Nugget.

Not So Dumb—A small storekeeper, much to the astonishment of his neighbors, suddenly decorated his shop window with a gorgeous new blind. It was a sensation of the day, and few of his brethren failed to make some remark to him about it.

“Nice blind you’ve got there, Isaac,” said one.

“Yes, Aaron.”

“How much did it cost you, Isaac?” “It didn’t cost me anything, Aaron. My customers paid for it.”

“What ! Y our customers paid for it?” “Yes, Aaron, I put a little box on my counter, ‘For the Blind,’ and they paid for it.”—Montreal Herald.

Quiz Kid—Teacher: “What’s a

Grecian urn?”

Jimmie: “That all depends on what he does.”—Galt Reporter.

Invitation Accepted—A lady going out for the day locked everything up very carefully, and for the grocery y’8 benefit left a card on the back ,oor. “All out. Don’t leave anything,” read.

On her return she found her house ansacked and all her choicest possessions gone. To the card on the door was added: “Thanks. We didn’t leave much.”—Fort William Times-Journal.

Forcep Habit—The moving picture usherette was in the dentist’s chair.

“Now, miss,” asked the dentist, “which tooth is giving you all the trouble?”

“Second from the left in the balcony,” was the answer.—Kingston Whig-Standard.

What Vales You?—First Spook: “What’s that bump on your head?”

Second Spook: “I was coming

through the keyhole as usual when some dope put the key in.”—Saint John Telegraph-Journal.

The Blush Hour—Here is another streetcar story — this time from Brussels:

A German officer with a dog, a handsome cocker spaniel, started to get on a streetcar in the Place Bara.

The conductor barred his way. “No dogs on the car. It’s not allowed, you know. Even for Germans.”

The Boche officer, wishing to show how clever he was, answered: “I may be a German, but my dog is English.”

“All right, then, let the dog get on alone.”—Montreal Star.

The Lost Post?—A man and his wife, hiking in the woods, suddenly realized that they had lost their way. Said the husband:

“I wish Emily Post was here with us —I think we took the wrong fork.” —Guelph Mercury.

On Borrowed Time—Three men were fishing in a small rowboat when a heavy squall came up and overturned the boat. Two of the men began to swim, but the third floundered helplessly.

“Say,” asked one of the swimmers, “can you float alone?”

“Look!” said the sinking one, “I’m drowning, and he talks business!”— Winnipeg Free Press.