HUMOR

Parade

December 1 1944
HUMOR

Parade

December 1 1944

Parade

HUMOR

IF THERE is doubt, in any reader's mind that, all Lord's chillun must labor, just and unjust, we give you the following from our special operative in the North Country.

Last fall two men were brought up for trial at the RCMP detachment at Lac la Ronge, Sask. The post is in an isolated part of the province and it was necessary to fly in Magistrate J. E. Lussier, Prince Albert, to bear the cases. Both men were found guilty.

In this particular instance the Magistrate had to remain over several days for a return plane. On the second day the constable on duty looked out the window and saw the two prisoners, under guard, pulling weeds in the garden. A few yards away the Magistrate was making steady progress pulling weeds in his section of the garden.

• • •

SIGNS OF THE TIMES—A Vancouver auto firm is paying all expenses to anyone from out of town who brings

in a car for stile. In the Daily Province the firm advertises that it will pay transportation and hotel bills for two full days. An added incentive urges, “Let’s Go First Class.”

• • •

Unfamiliarity with old - fashioned plumbing terms recently gave Magistrate Mackenzie Matheson, a newcomer to the Police Commission, the impression that Vancouver policemen are a spoon-fed lot.

Perusing the police accounts Magistrate Matheson came across an item covering the purchase of “bibbs.” His Honor demanded of the police board if it was considered necessary to equip the force with bibs.

It was explained to Magistrate Matheson that “bibb” is an old-time plumbers’ term for a water tap in a sink.

• • •

Another male bastion has fallen to the female of the species, and Edwin Walk,er, Winnipeg, won’t have any

excuse for leaving Mrs. Walker at

home when he attends Canadian Legion meetings. They are the first husband and wife in Winnipeg to become I members of the Legion. Both served overseas, both held the rank of I corporal, and they joined the Legion ! t oget her.

• • •

WONDER HOW HE MADE OUT? A Newfoundlander, unable to locate his wife after they had travelled west separately, pinned his biggest

hope of finding her on a baggage check. He wrote the CNR central baggage agent at Montreal: “I am taking this means of locating my wife who is in Montreal or vicinity. The trunk is in your baggage department and she has the check. I have only the number. Neither of us knows where to locate the other. Will you please attach the enclosed note to the trunk. Please don’t move the trunk and all charges will be paid when we take it up.”

• • •

Here’s the story of a man who dared to do what many a man has wanted to do.

The foreman of an Okanagan Valley, R.C., packing house noticed that too many otherwise fine apples were being spoiled by scratches when the fruit passed through the hands of girl workers. He took a look at the girls’ hands and issued an ultimatum: Get a short manicure—or else. The girls were given 24 hours to comply. After that time the foreman himself snipped off the offending nails.

• • •

This one is going to keep us pondering for a long, long time. From the personal column of the Montreal Herald: “Will the middle-aged serviceman (he will recognize the description) who produced the safety pin and piece of string at the right moment and in the correct way, for the dark lady in grey, near Peel and St. Catherine, when all seemed lost, please write to box 6951, so that contact may be established and thanks properly proffered. To be honest, am quite interested, apart from the pin and string.”

• • •

Delinquent taxpayers in Prince Rupert had better watch out or. they’ll be sold down the river by H. M. Foote, the acting tax collector of that enterprising community. Recently, and without apology, Mr. Foote inserted the following notice in the Prince Rupert Daily News: “NOTICE—

Property owners on which 1942 taxes are owing will be sold unless paid for before Oct. 30.”

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