Parade

Parade

Wanted: teachers! Sex no handicap

September 15 1956
Parade

Parade

Wanted: teachers! Sex no handicap

September 15 1956

Parade

Wanted: teachers! Sex no handicap

School’s in again everywhere — including, we hope, Oakville, Ont., although the public school board must have been feeling pretty wan about chances a few weeks ago when it advertised in the Toronto Globe and Mail for teachers, “male or female preferred.”

Every new term fortunately brings a tiny prodigy or two toddling to kindergarten to keep hope springing eternal in the teaching profession. A Burlington, Ont., teacher was delighted to discover that one of her new five-year-olds not only knew his alphabet but could spell quite a smattering of words — such as loving, Johnson, Mary, born, William, memory. Finally figured it out: the kid lived next door to a cemetery and had been playing among the tombstones ever since he could walk.

Any father knows what it is to have dumbfounding questions hurled at him by his young. The question this Edmonton six-year-old shot at his pop was, “Dad, what makes cars get old?” And pop was flailing wildly about in his mind for an answer when two cars collided with a loud crash on the street where they were walking. The youngster shot a questioning glance at his dad, dad just shrugged his shoulders, and that was that.

In all the long and dauntless history of the RCMP never has a Mountie been so sorely tried as the young recruit pounding his first beat in Penticton. B.C. Ordered to bring in a drunk he was flatly refused entry to scene of the crime by a blunt and stubborn waiter. "The law says nobody under twenty-one comes in here, cop or no cop,” declared the beer pusher.

“You wait here and I'll chase him out.” Neck burning redder than his dress tunic the Mountie waited, and got his man.

We have it on the word of a sober office manager or we wouldn’t credit what havoc a sober office manager could create in doing no more than his duty. Compiling pension statistics for the Winnipeg plant where he works, he discovered four of the shop mechanics had failed to complete all details on their applica-

tion cards. Since the information was needed immediately he called the four names over the plant P.A. system and asked the men to report at once.

One man fainted; another tripped over an electric cable and sprained his ankle; the third just stood frozen to the spot. Only the fourth man made it to the office and he had a stricken look. All four were expectant fathers . . . which may have been why they were too jittery to fill the cards out right in the first place.

A motorist whose path leads him occasionally through the interior of B. C.

reports with disappointment the removal of his favorite road sign from the foot of a hill leading into Armstrong. "Slippery when icy.” And another who took to the quiet country lanes uround Waterloo, Ont., to teach his wife to drive, reports that the nerve strain was happily broken for both of them by encountering a solemn fellow who had parked his calmiles from nowhere, spread his music on the hood and was practicing the bagpipes. * * *

For the men folks, the fishing tackle is no more than stored laboriously awaj when it’s time to overhaul the double barrels and heavy bores for the fall shooting. We don’t know whether one hunter in Parkland, Alta., will be quite as keen for big game this season as he was last year when he went hunting for deer and came face to face with a big black bear. Not quite so startled as the bear, he dropped it with one shot, but taking no chances of its being only

stunned he stood there and emptied his rifle into the beast. Upon skinning the animal he discovered there was but a

single bullet hole in the entire hide.

Overheard on the police radio in Victoria. B.C.: “Please check on tattoo

parlor on Johnson Street. Ask them not to tattoo people under age — especial!}

Sea Cadets.’

Parade pays $5 to $10 for true, humorous anecdotes reflecting the current Canadian scene. No contributions can be returned. Address Parade, c/o Maclean’s Magazine. 481 University Ave., Toronto.