Encountering a small boy and his dog intently hustling along a Winnipeg street at dusk, a nostalgic Parade scout was wondering on what childish adventure they might be bent when the boy pulled up at the door of a hotel beverage room. “Go
get him!” he sicked his dog. The dog vanished a moment, a peremptory bark echoed from inside, and out came Pop.
There’s a married man in Regina with a fine baritone who was called on to sing the morning solo in church recently, and did so with great satisfaction because he felt he was in prime voice. That was before he spotted his nine-year-old daughter and her best friend, down front in the congregation, poking their fingers in their ears.
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When a Vancouver man received a call from the Union Steamship Co. that they were delivering a deer that had been shipped to him from up the coast, he was overwhelmed with gratitude that on this year when he couldn’t take time for hunting, his guide of former years had evidently remembered him. He was so grateful that after getting the beast butchered he passed out choice cuts to friends all over town, even remembering the widow next door at the last minute, in time to give her one of the lesser cuts. It was then that he received a delayed wire from the son of the woman next door in up-coast B. C.: “Shipping you deer for mother please arrange butchering and take cut for your trouble . . .”
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We hope all the hockey playoffs arc wound up this season without any ugly moments such as occurred a year ago during the Western Junior finals in Regina when a Port Arthur player came out of one melee so badly injured he was hauled off to the hospital for head X rays. Doctors were horrified and a first-rate sports scandal was in the making when the X-ray plates revealed a bullet lodged in the player’s skull. Fortunately before police were called the medicos decided they’d better break the news to the injured man, and he told them not to give it a thought. He'd been carrying the bullet around in his noggin ever since a childhood shooting incident.
Advertisers are always doing surveys, so we've been doing our own survey of Canadian advertising and have we ever come up with a fascinating collection! We found an upholstering firm in Nova Scotia that proudly advertises it is just “33 steps from the Yarmouth jail.” Port Arthur. Ont., has a jeweler who recently advertised with refreshing bluntness. “You don't need cash! Instead use our revolting credit plan.” A radio station in Saint John, N.B., carries a commercial announcing. “The Crystal Ice Company specializes in one thing and one thing only — supplying your heating needs." And the Moose Jaw Times-Herald produced possibly the most intriguing classified ad of the year with, “Lost: seven freshly extracted teeth, wrapped in cellophane. Reward.”
But the real stopper was a TV commercial that any ad-and-sales club in the land would acclaim in a class by itself for visual action, pace and punch. The station was CHCT-TV in Calgary, and in a sponsored pause “just before the weather” the camera swung to a man’s tweed sports jacket mounted on a clothing dummy, while an announcer fingered the material and glowingly described its rugged weave, its fine cut and its leather buttons. “And
note the quality of the lining,” he added, slipping the coat open and discovering too late that the bare mannequin beneath was the type normally used to display dresses.
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Passing motorists who may have seen a Gray Coach driver jump out and start pelting his bus with snowballs, between Oakville and Toronto one day recently, will be glad to know he wasn’t even mad at his vehicle. Too short to reach the windshield of his oversize highway cruiser he had to use his wits to help the electric wipers clean the flying mud off the glass so he could see the road. One of the passengers tells us it worked fine.
Parade pays $5 to $10 for true, humorous anecdotes reflecting the current Canadian scene. No contributions can be returned. Address Parade, c/o Maclean’s Magazine, 481 University Ave., Toronto.
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