November 22 1958



November 22 1958




Staff ma&azine published by and for the employees of

Are those leaves falling past yours truly’s window? What’s that? Who’s minding who’s business? Well, anyway, folks in Accounting were "down to business” last Tuesday when thye presented R. M. "E1” Elwood with a pair of lawn-bowling balls on his thirtieth year with Apex. "El” joined the company in 1928, was made

Assistant Outgoing Traffic Clerk in 1938, and forged ahead to Returned Invoices in 1948. He is married to the former Marge Pringle of Mail In. Asked for his recollections of early days with Apex, "El” recalls that there used to be a laundry where the new garage is now being built. Ever get taken "to the cleaners” El?

Introducing to our fair midst Stanley "Stan” Ames who "saw the light of day” in Thistletown. "Stan” left that "fair city” at seventeen to "nose out the news” for the Moon Creek Mentor as crime reporter. "I wasn’t cut out for scoops,” says Stan, who plunged into a ««v-mon^h course at the Steyner School of Public Speaking. When offered the opportunity to join forces with High Pressure Data Sheets Stan accepted the challenge. His hobbies are skiing, photography and collecting records: classical, popular and dance. Stan will share a temporary office with Gladys "Glad” Eastman, who will teach Stan "the ropes.” Stan is a bachelor. Take it easy, girls!

Starting next issue, The Gas Bag will have a new "roving reporter,” Tyrone "Ty” Dyland of Cost Control, who "scribbles” successfully in his spare time. He writes under his own name and has sold short

High adventure in the lives of six of the people behind the scenes at mighty Apex Gasas chronicled (fairly closely) by a great North American institution: the House Organ


Stories to Canadian Dairyman, Off Stage, Weaving in America, The Teaswater Tattler and The Seagull. Before turning to cost control, "Ty” took a course at the Mary Hand Vocation School, where he studied Sumerian pottery, Sanskrit, Speed Writing, Batik work, ceramic pigmentation and Roman lettering. There’s just nothing "Ty” won’t "try.”

by Don Mitchell, Safety Editor When approaching a gas cylinder, always turn the RPX cut-off before setting the feed valve at "Pilot.” "We like gas, but we like you better.”


Would anyone traveling to "The Big City” for Thanksgiving be willing to take a passenger? Call Mary-Anne Munroe, Die Casting.

Friends of "El" Elwood (and who isn't) learned last week that along with his du ties in Returned Invoices he will now be in charge of Tank Returns and Deposits. "El's" new office will be over the garage, within a "war whoop" of where he start ed with Apex thirty years ago. Asked for his early recollections of Apex, "El" said, "There were no elevators then. We didn't need them. We were all on one floor." "El" feels "UI) Ifl the air" about his new promotion. Hope you come down long gh to "gas" with old friends, El!

Continued on page 62

Continued from page 23

Talented stenographer

Gladys “Glad” Eastman proved she is more than a “stenographer” last week when she breezed in with a pair of curtains she had run up on her sewing machine to give a “homey” touch to the “humble abode” she shares with “Stan” Ames while construction is taking place on the third floor. "Glad,” whose hobbies are cooking, sewing and oil painting, also brought one of her “originals” to cover the temporary partition. “I don't see why a woman’s touch hasn’t just as much place in the business office as in the home,” said the peppery Glad. Ye Gas Bag is with her a hundred percent!

How much can you stretch a fish?

Thought you folks would get as big a chuckle ns we did over this breezy note from the pen of versatile “Ty” Dyland. “Now, wait a minute! We’re not saying “the boss,” President D. W. Burbage, was “gassing” anybody, but a little bird we know overheard “D.W.” telling a customer over the phone about a fish “that got away.” It was three feet' long, D.W. said, and it took his rod and reel and he lost a Kapok cushion in the struggle. Wow! There’s a fish story with a long “tail.”

Better safe than sorry

by Don Mitchell, Safety Booster Never run through the bottling department. Those cylinders play no favorites.

Anybody going to Chicago?

Anybody blowing in the direction of “The Windy City,” who is willing to take a passenger, call Mary-Anne Munroe, Die Casting.

VOL. 7 NO. 38

"El” Elwood Apexer of the year D. W. Burbage has faith in gas

“A country is no stronger than its gas,” President D. W. Burbage said last night during his presentation of a beautiful woolen blanket to “El” Elwood, chosen Apex’s Man of the Year. President Burbage touched on Apex’s pension plan, hospitalization plan, rest home, free shuffleboard courts and dart rooms, then “brought down the house” with his “Three T’s” formula for a happy organization—"tolerance, trust and teamwork.”

President warns messenger boys

President D. W. Burbage warns that any Apex messenger boy caught sliding down the parcel chute at the northwest corner

of the building will be subject to instant dismissal. This is not only highly dangerous, but is confusing to J. E. “Earnie” Byles who sorts mail in the basement. Let’s do our sliding somewhere else, boys!

"Stan” and "Glad” win award

“Stan” Ames and “Glad” Eastman were winners of The Most Unusual Costume award at the dance which followed last night's presentation of Apex Drama Society's hilarious presentation of “Kitty in the Closet.” “Glad” was dressed as one of her own oil paintings, and “Stan” as an artist’s “palette.”

In memory of R. W. "Bill” Beckett

The following poem was kindly contributed to The Gas Bag by Tyrone Dyland on the pasing away of the company's oldest delivery man. Bill Beckett

When customers ran low on gas Bill Beckett filled their tanks No call for service he’d let pass Nor ever ask for “thanks.”

But Bill’s accounts have now heen closed

He’s serviced his last heater For Someone, greater, far, than us, Has read Bill Beckett’s meter.

Better safe than sorry

by Don Mitchell, Safety Booster

Don’t trust the other man to check your tanks. Always see that (a) main jet is shut (b) booster is “ofF” (c) pressure adapter is in “neutral.”

Anybody going to New Orleans

If any Apexer is heading for the “Sunny South” please get in touch with MaryAnne Munroe, Die Casting.


6-AS M6

VOL. 7 NO. 39

Anybody seen "El”?

If any of you guys and gals here and abouts has seen or heard from R. M. “El” Elwood of Returned Invoices, please "walk, do not run” to the editors of The Gas Bag. We’ve been asked to make this announcement by Mrs. Elwood (formerly Marge Pringle of Mail-In) who says "El” left home for the office a week ago and has not been home since. He seemed quite well and cheerful, Marge told us. His last words were "Good-by Marge.”

A tough "break” for

"Glad” Eastman

Gladys “Glad” Eastman broke her leg while skiing at Cape Glacé over the weekend and spent a harrowing five hours awaiting medical care. Luckily “Stan” Ames of High Pressure Valves was “Johnny on the Spot” and got her to a hospital. Everybody misses you, Glad. • Shake a leg” and get well!

Bits and pieces

The following “impression” is from the colorful pen of Tyrone "Ty” Dyland, who

spent the weekend at the Apex annual golf tournament at Deer Inn, Muskoka. “Muskoka is a land of wide open spaces where the mysterious wilderness extends to the distant horizon beneath the azure dome of the sky. Time “passes by” this carefree haven, and every minute is pack' ed with sixty seconds of fun.”

Ty adds humorously, “President D. W. Burbage claimed he shot an 89 on Saturday. Of course we know the boss always tells the truth! It’s just that in cost control we re in the habit of adding 10 percent to everything just to be safe. Any-

way, we hear D.W. is going to hire a skin diver to caddie for him next year after that session at the 13 th water hole!”

Don Mitchell in good condition

Don Mitchell. Safety Booster, is doing "just fine” following his mishap in Outgoing Tanks, when he inadvertently backed into an unstoppered U-tube. Don says, “It could have happened to you.” Don was just recovering from a sprained ankle he received on the stairw-ay of the Am-

bassador Hotel during the year-end convention.

Scoops and deadlines Find old shirt in garage foundation

Yesterday, while workmen were excavating for a new air-conditioning unit in Apex's new six-story garage, they found an old shirt. A note was attached to it, which, when dried out in Engineering,

was found to say, “No starch, please.” Anybody missing a shirt?

Anybody driving to Los Angeles?

If anybody is driving to “The City of the Stars,” will they please contact MaryAnne Munroe, Die Casting.


6-AS LÁ§

VOL. 7 NO. 40

Hi, El!

Mrs. Eiwood, formerly Marge Pringle of Mail-In, wishes to express her thanks for the helpful letters and calls received from staffers of Apex and to pass on the word that she has heard from "El.” He has accepted the challenge of a new appointment with Gulf and Guatemala Banana Boats, and writes that he will probably be away for some time. Saludos, El! How about sending us an avocado?

Tyrone "Ty” Dyland

gets new appointment

President D. W. Burbage, in a brief luncheon speech yesterday, touched on the history of gas, then closed his speech by announcing that Tyrone “Ty” Dyland is being promoted to the post of Field Relations Man and Pipe Checker in the Apex plant at Flat Hills, northern Alberta. Ride ’em, Ty!

Wedding bells for "Glad” Eastman

“Glad” Eastman, who broke her leg ski-

ing recently, seems to be on the mend! We’ve just heard that she and “Stan” Ames of High Pressure Valves got "hitched” over the weekend in a quiet ceremony at St. Agatha Hospital. Asked over the phone by Ye Editor of The Gas Bag “How did it happen?” Stan Ames said he wasn’t quite sure.

Better safe than sorry

by Don Mitchell, Safety Booster

Always walk forward. Gas tanks have no way of knowing which way you're going.

For Sale

Two pairs of skiis, complete photography equipment and record collection. Or will trade as part-payment on bedroom suite. Phone “Stan” Ames, High Pressure Valves.

Wanted to buy

A knapsack. Mrs. Eiwood, formerly Marge Pringle of Mail-In.

Old Apexer still Gas Bag fan

G. F. “George” Fowler, former editor of The Gas Bag who three years ago joined the Northwest Petroleum Company, writes of a “chilling” experience when he was caught in a blizzard without tinder to build a fire, but was saved by suddenly remembering that he carried in his pack an old copy of The Gas Bag. “Quicker ’n a wink,” writes George, “A fire was cracklin' and toastin’ my tootsies. Love that publication!”

Anybody going to Acapulco?

Anybody headed for “South of the Border” please get in touch with Mary-Annc Munroe, Die Casting.