Katharine Hepburn has long been considered one of the great ladies of the North American screen, but she obviously has not impressed film critic and author Helen Lawrenson. In a forthcoming article in The Dial, an educational TV magazine, Lawrenson maintains that on set Kate was “an unmitigated pain in the neck.” In addition, she attributes the 73-year-old actress’ fame not to her ability, but to “longevity.” Lawrenson is no kinder on Hepburn’s private life, revealing details of her affair with her agent, Leland Hayward, and the enigmatic Howard Hughes, prior to the long-standing relationship with Spencer Tracy. After all, who should know more about romance than Lawrenson. She made her mark as a journalist more than 40 years ago with an article in Esquire that still causes yelps of wounded machismo— Latins Are Lousy Lovers.

1 would prefer that everyone question everything they hear,” says Bob Geldof, lead singer of The Boomtown Rats and one of the few personalities from the new wave genre who has consciously applied his intellect to his lyrics. On the Rats’ current album, Mongo Bongo, political, sociological and totally scatological themes pervade, including the lyrical/literary image in a song called Hurt Hurts: “Instant Solzhenitsyn/I get salt mines when I hear your voice.” “The kids who hear it will probably just get a Russian name and associate salt mines with Siberia. You can’t expect them to know their gulags,” says Geldof. For all its bounce and crash, Bongo reflects a lot of political insights that Rat Geldof picked up on last year’s world tour. “My work exposes me to all kinds of travel and situations that turn into songs,” he says. “I think rock musicians who go to a foreign country and just want to know what kind of beer they can drink and what kind of drugs they use show an enormous lack of imagination.”

It was a pool cue over the head that made Arnie Hamilton finally see the light. Greater Victoria, B.C., police officers had been talking for years about starting their own private pub, but it wasn’t until Hamilton, 33, a constable with the Esquimalt police force near Victoria, had a public-bar patron with a beef try a bank shot oft his head that the Greater Victoria Essential Services Club was created. Using rented card tables and borrowed department of national defence chairs, the 70-seat club started, last August, signing up more than 250 of Greater Victoria’s Finest and “essential services personnel,” in-

eluding nurses and court officials. Replete with framed crests and a $10,000 bar, the club has big plans. “Within two years we figure we’ll have a squash court, weight room, sauna, whirlpool plus a lounge and restaurant,” says Hamilton. Also planned are cruiser lights and a siren that can be activated by anyone buying a round for the house. And what will they be buying? There is no Magnum Force or Homicider concoction on the cocktail list, but there is a popular drink called a “10/33”—police jargon for “officer in distress.”

Brigitte Bardot dropped in on Paris last week for a rare foray away from her home in St. Tropez, when a retrospective of her films played the capital. “I was 39 when I abandoned

cinema,” purred the 46-year-old sexkitten - turned - human -humane-shelter. “You have to leave a beautiful image of yourself behind.” When pressed on the question of a film comeback, however, B.B. bared her teeth. “I would be crazy to make another film,” she barked. “I find the French cinema has become a horror. I no longer watch it. It has become a reflection of what France has become—something mediocre, something ordinary, without dreams, mystery or grand sentiment.”

Margaret Trudeau evoked nary a comment when she called Peter Lougheed a “mother” before a sold-out crowd of 450 Alberta women in Lethbridge last week. Speaking at an allfemale stag hosted by the local Bridge Alta Jaycees, Trudeau said the Alberta premier is “just taking Canada to the cleaners.” Politics aside, the estranged wife of Pierre Trudeau received a standing ovation after a 45-minute talk about the joint child-custody arrangement she has with the prime minister, in which they alternate weeks as parents. At her home, she explained, Justin, Sacha and Michel get to watch Saturday-morning cartoons, eat Count Chocula cereal and stay up Sunday nights to watch Dukes ofHazzard.

haven’t gained a pound since I A was 15. I average three to five hours’ sleep. I eat one meal a day. I don’t take vitamins. I don’t jog. I smoke 2V2 packs of cigarettes a day. I can drink anyone under the table and I’ve never had a hangover.” So says Joe E. Granville, the pontiff of personal profit who became the scourge of Wall Street when his “sell” order to newsletter subscribers helped spark a 36-point drop in the Dow in January. Granville was in Vancouver last week to do his vaudevillian buy-sell shtick for a crowd of 5,000 skeptics and believers. “I was on the Jack Webster TV show for 90 minutes,” boasts the 57-year-old technical analyst. “The prime minister of Canada was on the show a few days before me. Webster only gave him 60 minutes. That shows you where the power is.” While bouncing on the bed in his hotel room, Granville discussed the earthquake he has predicted for southern California on April 10 at 5:31 p.m. “What’s the big deal,” he declares. “I predicted one last year on the CBC Morningside program and four hours later it happened. I just pray to God I’m wrong about April 10.”

Actor Robert Logan would probably have preferred the controlled canter of one of his polo ponies, but the best mount he could come up with in the wilderness area outside of Canmore, Alta., was an 1,100-lb. Kodiak grizzly named Big Mac. Logan and Mac were in Canmore to work on the Canadian film Kelly, which is being described as an offthe-wall mixture of Kramer vs. Kramer and The Perils of Pauline. Logan, an exMalibu surfer who first gained fame as the replacement for Edd (Kookie) Byrnes on the ’60s TV series 77 Sunset Strip, is currently prospering on the family film circuit in such bring-the-kids entertainment as Wilderness Family I and II and

Mountain Family Robinson, which have earned more than $100 million. After Kelly, Logan began working on another family flick, Peter and the Wolf. Currently, he is packing his polo equipment for the arduous task of starring opposite Marie Osmond in a TV movie entitled I Married Wyatt Earp.

Director Francis Coppola narrowly averted bankruptcy last month when he was forced to pledge $1 million in personal property to keep up production on his $22-million film, One From the Heart. In recognition of the artistic

integrity of the project, a romantic comedy set in surreal Las Vegas and starring Frederic Forrest and Nastassia Kinski, Coppola’s employees have been accepting half-salary. An anonymous loan of $500,000 helped, followed by $105,000 from New York screenings of Abel Gance’s epic Napoleon, but with production costs of $1 million a week the Coppola organization was on tenterhooks. Enter Calgary oil and real estate tycoon Jack Singer, who promptly invested $1 million, with talk of more to come. Atlas Finance and Realty Corp. Ltd. President Singer, whose brother was once engaged to movie mogul Jack Warner’s daughter, has also invested in the Canadian films By Design and Surfacing. “He felt that if you were going to invest in film, you should do it with the best director and Coppola is the best,” explains Singer’s general manager, Bob Gibson.

"Sex is my region, and I mean sex in every sense of the word," says earthy novelist Aritha van Herk, whose first book, Judith, was about a young girl arriving at sexual expression on an Alberta pig farm. In her second book, The Tent Peg, van Herk expands on the libido theme by shadowing a young woman arriving at sexual expression in a bush camp populated by rather anon ymous geologists and surveyors, most of whom lack something called "balls." At 26, van Herk has reached the conclu sion that "people disguise their true sexual feelings." This sentiment, how ever, appears to have little to do with her recent move from Alberta, where she was raised, to British Columbia. "It's wonderful country," she says of her former home province, "but they wouldn't know culture if it walked up and kicked them in the seat of the pants."