If it means pulling hair, gouging eyes or delivering knees in the groin, then I’m your girl. I’d be happy to claw my way to the top,” says ambitious Toronto-born beauty Laurene Landon. That’s exactly what she gets to do in All the Marbles, a $10-million comedy starring Peter Falk as the seedy manager of female tag-team wrestlers. After landing the part, Landon and co-star, dancer Vicky Frederick, were sent off to a wrestling school to get a grip on the business. Landon, 23, admits, “I’d never wrestled before—except with men.”

As EVA, Ottawa’s talking elevator, found out, sometimes it’s what you don’t say that gets you in the most trouble. The Electronic Voice Announcer is on trial in the federal government’s seven-storey Charles Tupper building on Heron Road, announcing when the doors are closing and at which floor she intends to stop. The system, designed as an aid to the blind, got a rough first-week ride when it was noted that EVA only spoke English. “Someone thought if she were providing a government service she would have to be bilingual,” explains Harry Brown, president of EVA Corp. Although the Official Languages Act doesn’t cover machines, he’s applying for a federal research and development grant to give EVA a French immersion course.

Dominique Dufour, the 22-year-old model from Laval, Que., who came within a gasp of winning the Miss Universe contest in New York last week, seemed content with one of her consolation prizes—a telephone call from Pierre Trudeau. Taking time out from

the pressures of the Western economic summit, Trudeau reached Dufour at a disco and told the ex-Montreal model he was very proud of her as a Canadian. Says Dufour: “It’s the first time in the 30 years of the contest that a Miss Canada has come so close.” Though she was chosen after ample exposure to the panel of judges, Dufour impressed pageant host Bob Barker early in the evening when she said The Price Is Right, the game show Baker has hosted since 1972, was her favorite TV program.

Igot along a lot better with the horse than a lot of people I’ve worked with before,” says Tommy Smothers of his equine co-star, Bob, in the upcoming schlock spoof Thursday the 12th. As Sgt. Reginald Cooper, a Mountie sleuth on loan to an Indiana college where cheerleaders are being murdered en masse, Smothers trots

around on the albino gleefully “attacking—with humor—just about everything you’ve ever seen before,” from Dennis Weaver’s defunct TV show, McCloud, to Friday the 13th (both parts). Audiences will have to wait to find out who-dun-it, but Smothers says that the maniac who escaped from the mental institution is not the only suspect. As for Bob, his role can only be described as a “not-so-faithful companion.”

Diana Ross tried in the 1972 movie Lady Sings the Blues, but musicians who once accompanied the late Billie Holiday and critics who remember her agree that in the 22 years since her death the voice closest to the original comes from white Peterborough, Ont.,born jazz singer Ivy Steel. Capitalizing on Holiday’s fame by using some of her

songs on a new album, Reincarnation, Steel insists the identical phrasing is unconscious. When people first began to compare her to Holiday, Steel was a child of 8 who “thought the ‘Billie’ they were talking about was a guy.” When she found out differently 10 years ago, Steel says, “The first thing I noticed was that Holiday sounded a lot like me.” Either way, an offer has been made to take Holiday across Canada in the form of a new play, and Steel isn’t one to buck the inevitable. “I tried to do other things, but I was always forced in this direction,” she says. “It was the will of God.”

Onetime Hollywood bombshell Rita Hayworth, 62, was ruled unfit to look after her own affairs by Los Angeles, Calif., Superior Court Judge Ronald Swearinger who last week ordered that she be placed under the guardianship of her 31-year-old daughter, Yasmin Khan. Onstage from the age of 6, the

former Margarita Carmen Cansino

starred in such films as Dante's Inferno when she was just 17 and in the 1946 movie Gilda perfected her trademark role as the tempestuous redhead with a heart of gold. Although Hayworth last starred in a film in 1972, her lawyer and business manager, Leonard Monroe, recently disclosed that his client has been suffering from Alzheimer’s disease (presenile dementia) for some years. Eighteen months ago Hayworth summed up her life by saying, “I’ve made some mistakes, but I have no regrets.”

Even in his wildest dreams, Sheik Ahmed Zaki Yamani, the Saudi Arabian oil minister who heads OPEC, has probably never envisioned selling oil at $8.95 a bottle. But that’s what two young Calgary partners, Tom Hayter, 25, and John McBride, 23, are doing with Alberta crude, capped and labelled like wine. Their company, Tomak Mar-

keting, offers one “imported” and two “domestic” vintages, with the fanciful titles Turner Valley vintage 1914, Huile D’Hibernia 1979 and Saudi Arabian Light 1973. Their wares have been selling so well in Edmonton and Calgary that the pair is now establishing distributorships in Toronto and Vancouver. A single barrel of oil yields about 300 bottles. At $8.95 each, that’s worth $2,685 a barrel, high even for Yamani.

While the country’s booksellers were locked in such seminars as “Fiche and Chips: Bookselling Enters the Computer Age,” 44-year-old lawyerturned-novelist William Deverell floated into the annual Canadian Booksellers Association convention in Vancouver last week to preview his new thriller, High Crimes. The fictional account of a $300-million pot bust,due for September publication, is Deverell’s follow-up to Needles, the often gory tale of heroin

smuggling in Vancouver which has sold a quarter of a million copies since it won the Seal First Novel Award in 1979. High Crimes, which the author stresses “is a lot less violent,” is set in Newfoundland with a homegrown hero who “has a dream that he’s a reincarnated Robin Hood,” smuggling dope to raise money for the oppressed. “Ninety per cent of it is made up,” Deverell says, “but there is that underlying basis of truth. One of the lawyers in High Crimes is a complete crook. My brothers in the legal profession won’t be happy.”

For most people, the trick is to get enough water into the tub to take a bath, but for 26-year-old Gary Deathridge, it was not being able to get enough tub out of the water that lost him last week’s 15th annual Nanaimo-toVancouver bathtub race. Leaving 90 of the 130 entrants sinking into the horizon, the Melbourne, Australia, mechanical engineer and two-time race winner finished the 55-km crossing in one hour, 59 minutes and 23 seconds. Race Commodore Bob Pederson disqualified him on the grounds that less than 60 per cent of his craft was “absolutely visible and unobstructed” as required and gave the victory to Victoria’s Steve Bradshaw, 25, whose time was nearly 20 minutes slower. Being scrubbed just didn’t wash with Deathridge. “I don’t think any of the other tubs in the top five were legal,” he steamed. “They decided they would like a Canadian to win, so they found a way to disqualify me.”

There he was last month, former Newfoundland premier Frank Moores, busy planning a fisherman’s fantasy—a shack on a remote salmon river near the tiny town of Rigolet, Nfld., 100 km northeast of the province’s forest resources and lands department in Goose Bay, where his permit application was still being processed. Because a freeze has been placed on constructing angling camps on all of the province’s salmon rivers, Moores had little chance of permit approval (even though he neglected to mention his fishing intentions in the application). So, when Rigolet townsfolk watched a large pile of lumber being unloaded at their community dock and then immediately airlifted away, they knew it wasn’t fish building a ladder. Forest Resources and Lands has sent Moores a letter telling him that if the cabin is his, he has until Aug. 10 to remove all traces of construction from the area, but they have no way of knowing if he has received the directive. Says Assistant Deputy Minister Kenneth Beanlands: “The letter’s in the mail.”


Ivy Steel sings Billie best; Hayworth with daughter Khan: a heart of gold