MAIL BAG

‘Men don’t want to marry bitchy women. Men want sex and they’ll do anything to get it.’

May 1 2006
MAIL BAG

‘Men don’t want to marry bitchy women. Men want sex and they’ll do anything to get it.’

May 1 2006

‘Men don’t want to marry bitchy women. Men want sex and they’ll do anything to get it.’

MAIL BAG

WHAT’S UP, DOC?

SO DOCTORS DISCRIMINATE against people who are overweight, especially for hip and knee replacements (“Overeaters, smokers and drinkers, the doctor won’t see you now,” Health, April 24). Does it occur to them that fat people may have been perfectly acceptable until they had to wait two or three years for a joint replacement that would allow them to participate in their normal exercise regime? And who decides what constitutes “fat” anyway? Are thin people who may be more likely to suffer from osteoporosis also to be denied medical treatment? Who will qualify in the future? Victims of car accidents? Perhaps they shouldn’t have been driving. Talk about blaming the victim.

David Hill, Bowen Island, B.C.

I PERSONALLY PAY over $25,000 per year in health care costs. I am a smoker. I also pay thousands in tobacco taxes each year. If I could withdraw from the universal health care system, I would no doubt have sufficient funds within four or five years to pay for private health care directly (no insurance premiums, thank you very much), so why should I continue to co-operate with a system that does not guarantee me equal access? If doctors have too many patients, great, let them compete for patients in a market where they are not the only source of health care. Doctors are now claiming a divine right to control the intimate decisions of their patients’ lives in exchange for health care. That kind of tyranny is to be resisted at all costs. Michelle Gervais, London, Ont.

I SAY BRAVO to the doctors who are sticking to their guns and refusing treatment to patients who won’t help themselves despite being told they are abusing their bodies. Having worked in the health care industry, I saw patients come in to see a cardiologist reeking of cigarette smoke, despite having had a heart attack or bypass surgery. It bothered me because the doctor and the hospital did so much for that patient and we as taxpayers paid for their treatment and hospital stay, yet the patient didn’t think their life was important enough to quit smoking. I would much rather pay for my doctor’s services knowing that I am doing the best I can to help keep my own body healthy, than to have a large portion of my hard-earned money go toward looking

after people who won’t help themselves! I’m not quite sure why we call it health care because it is, in actual fact, illness care.

Linda Kozak, Aurora, Ont.

THI$ IS A COMPLEX issue that really deserves addressing. One route is to focus more attention on developing and supporting clinical practices that transfer the burden of care from the professionals and institutions to the individuals and home environments. Most im-

portantly, we need support systems that empower individuals by installing feelings of self-competence and confidence that enable them to care for themselves better. I am so glad you’ve published this article and brought this matter closer to the public eye. Bravo! Jennifer Boger, Research Manager, Intelligent Assistive Technology and Systems Lab, University of Toronto, Toronto

BORN TO BE MILD

I HAD TO WRITE to you after reading Charlie Gillis’s article about the Bandidos and the “nasty, brutish and short” life of motorcycle gang members (“Why bikers are so poor,” National, April 24). I am a wife and mother, a college graduate, and I am lucky enough to be a stay-at-home mom because my husband— an outlaw biker—works a steady job that pays well with great benefits. He also has a retirement package and a stock package. We live in a nice home we built ourselves on 12 parklike acres. It is worth roughly US$300,000. My husband is neither a drinker nor a drug

user. He has never participated in criminal activities for his club or his own personal gain. I married him more than 10 years ago because I found him to be a wonderful man with good values. I have found that there is a higher percentage of decent hard-working folks like us involved in clubs than the type of people Gillis describes. The biggest difference is the way we look and our love of motorcycles. There is good and bad in everything. Membership in any society, association or club does not automatically make the individual bad. But society needs its villains; it just so happens that the flavour of the month right now is the biker. It’s very difficult for people like Gillis to think outside of the box that he has put us in.

Robyn Hargenrater, Grass Lake, Mich.

NERD OVERLOAD

WOW! MICHAEL IGNATIEFF two weeks in a row! First, the interview (“Michael Ignatieff talks to Peter C. Newman,” April 10) and then the story, albeit with information about his potential rival for the Liberal leadership, Bob Rae (“We’re pals. Really.”, National, April 17). I am afraid if you keep this up, you will either run out of information, or we will be subjected to an intimate level of detail we don’t want. It would seem some proportional representation would be good for Canadians in more ways than one. By the way, the mention you gave Gerard Kennedy’s entry into the Liberal leadership race did not go unnoticed. Lor eta Learmonth, Kelowna, B.C.

IGNATIEFF 1$ A NERD and he will have difficulty relating to what ordinary Canadians want and need. Furthermore, Rae was disastrous as a premier. His policies, despite the recession he wants to blame, were terrible and resulted in higher taxes for Ontario. Many will not forget that or forgive him when it comes time to vote nationally. Once a socialist, always a socialist. It is in the blood. Both men will be unelectable in different parts of the country for different reasons and, therefore, will have difficulty delivering a minority, let alone a majority government. This is the only thing that counts with Liberals. The Liberals have a difficult choice and it may be they are only picking an interim leader who will take them into the next election. They will lose and then maybe we will see Rae’s or Ignatieff’s true grit. Mervin Hollingsworth, Saskatoon

RHYMES WITH WITCH

AFTER READING “Why men marry bitchy women” (Help, April 17), I started to wonder, is this what it’s come to in the world of dating and relationships? Sherry Argov, the author of the book Why Men Marry Bitches, says that women should not be too nice and must never reveal the game plan. I think it’s sad she feels that relationships are a game and, by the sounds of her book, a one-sided game at that. Whatever happened to two nice people getting together and seeing where it goes? If anything, that’s a great deal easier than trying to remember the rules—no bounty hunter questions, pouting or nagging for at least a year—that Argov has put forward. Courtney Noble, Victoria

MEN DO NOT WANT to marry bitchy women. Men want sex. Men will do anything to get sex. Men are so stupid that they will sacrifice the next 40 years of their lives to be constantly nagged, harassed, talked down to and not get sex, just to have sex before they get married. How do I know this? I am a man! Mike Gold, Toronto

UP WITH ORDINARY PEOPLE

I MUST TELL YOU my thoughts on “The end.” It seems to me that some readers are perplexed at the profiles of seemingly unremarkable people on your back page. I think this new use of the back page is absolutely wonderful and it has now become one of my favourite columns. It’s refreshing to read about what regular people’s lives are really about—people whom I normally would never know. Your profiles really get to the heart of each person, who they really were and what was important to them. It’s a truly deserving tribute and is so much more meaningful to read than the usual quick blurb I see in the newspapers. Ordinary people who live unremarkable lives but in their own small ways contribute to their communities, I believe, make up the majority in our society. They are just as deserving of honourable tributes as anyone famous. Margaret J. Ensing, Guelph, Ont.

HOW VERY SAD about Tara Rose McAvoy, the deaf beauty queen hit and killed by a train (“The end,” April 10). But how incredibly predictable. In this post-PC world of irrationally dictated equality, it apparently never occurred to anyone, including her parents, that Tara was actually handicapped. She ought to have been taught at some point about the dangers of not paying attention to her surroundings. It’s a valuable lesson for any young person, but critically so for someone who is deaf. I guess common sense just isn’t the commodity it used to be.

Noralee Stone, Clinton, Ont.